Wow, And What A World Cup It’s Been So Far This Season

Into the net! It’s been a magical football season at this year’s World Football Cup.

The mighty sport of ‘football’ – whose name delineates the two body parts with which you’re allowed to score a goal – was created in 1966 by FIFA (the Football Institute of Football Authority) and this summer, has been happening.

Neymar is the name of one of the footballers. He did some good football. Ronaldo is another footballer’s name. He did some disappointing football.

The linesmen have been excellent, drawing bright and straight pitch lines before every single game. No doubt going for the linesmanship, referees have been practising their own pitch lines using deodorant, but their randomly positioned squiggles disappear as quickly as they’re drawn.

Goal-line technology is a new addition to the majestic footgame. Every so often, a goal is scored. Thousands of eyes turn towards the big screen – those eyes, and the people attached to them, consumed by the same burning question: a goal’s been scored, but ‘is that a goal-line?’ That’s where the goal-line technology comes in. The goal-line technology crunches some numbers and there’s the result: yes. Yes, it is a goal-line.

There have also been some football numbers during this world cup; numbers like:

3-5-2, and
4-4-2, as well as
4-5-1.

Made up by angry managers forced to wear suits in 435% humidity, that’s the order in which the football players arrive at the football stadium. Unfortunately, this year it seems they’ve missed out goalkeepers, which may explain the staggering amount of goals cleaving nets in two this world cup season. Goals like the one with the head, the corner one, the one that was kicked in by a football player, the suddenly running one, and the one that wasn’t one and then was one.

The offside rule, which is where play stops if one of the linesmen raises a flag, has been in good form this summer, slowing everything down when it gets too exciting and putting the ‘motional rollercoaster’ in ‘emotional rollercoaster’.

In stark contrast, the special time set aside for injuries at the end of each football segment (two ‘segments’ make up a full ‘match game’) hasn’t been as successful as FIFA hoped, with many player injuries occurring outside their allotted time.

Play continues. Lads.

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